








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1209 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 127 matches | ||
| Premier | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10235 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,577 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6177 | 32% |
| Smokes | 5347 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3806 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4247 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,593,831 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 337 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DReaMz | 67% | 39 |
| #2 | Fonzwoods | 66% | 87 |
| #3 | jshipp | 55% | 311 |
| #4 | Ian | 52% | 145 |
| #5 | Simp2Pimp | 52% | 130 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Ian | 52% | 145 |
| #5 | Simp2Pimp | 52% | 130 |
| #6 | PantPooper | 46% | 140 |
| #7 | fitzmonjohnson | 45% | 85 |
| #8 | Cocaina Supremo | 44% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jshipp | 47 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | PantPooper | 20 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | Ian | 12 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Cocaina Supremo | 9 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | Fonzwoods | 7 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ian | 431 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #2 | jshipp | 280 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| #3 | fitzmonjohnson | 235 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | Fonzwoods | 223 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | Cocaina Supremo | 197 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | justblaze | +4.77 | 89 | 57 |
| #2 | jshipp | +0.35 | 83 | 48 |
| #3 | DReaMz | +0.17 | 84 | 59 |
| #4 | Ian | -0.65 | 64 | 60 |
| #5 | Fonzwoods | -2.20 | 64 | 50 |





