








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 273 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 83 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2000 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,856 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 604 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1053 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1143 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1056 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,052,950 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 167 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Simp2Pimp | 46% | 26 |
| #2 | justblaze | 46% | 140 |
| #3 | jshipp | 43% | 83 |
| #4 | Cocaina Supremo | 43% | 44 |
| #5 | Denni | 41% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Cocaina Supremo | 43% | 44 |
| #5 | Denni | 41% | 39 |
| #6 | DReaMz | 39% | 33 |
| #7 | Ian | 38% | 53 |
| #8 | fitzmonjohnson | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jshipp | 16 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | justblaze | 10 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Ian | 9 | 0.0086 |
| #4 | Cocaina Supremo | 5 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | DReaMz | 3 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | justblaze | 321 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | Ian | 167 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | jshipp | 84 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Cocaina Supremo | 76 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | DReaMz | 66 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | justblaze | +6.08 | 91 | 57 |
| #2 | jshipp | +1.24 | 83 | 50 |
| #3 | DReaMz | +0.75 | 82 | 53 |
| #4 | Ian | -0.55 | 61 | 60 |
| #5 | Denni | -1.05 | 56 | 45 |





