








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 120 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1980 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,539 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 202 | 4% |
| Smokes | 1626 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1667 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1044 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $524,867 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fonzwoods | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | Cocaina Supremo | 55% | 42 |
| #3 | Ian | 53% | 30 |
| #4 | justblaze | 52% | 130 |
| #5 | jshipp | 47% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Ian | 53% | 30 |
| #4 | justblaze | 52% | 130 |
| #5 | jshipp | 47% | 47 |
| #6 | PantPooper | 46% | 26 |
| #7 | fitzmonjohnson | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | justblaze | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | jshipp | 5 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | Cocaina Supremo | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | fitzmonjohnson | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | PantPooper | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | justblaze | 285 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #2 | Ian | 83 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | Cocaina Supremo | 79 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | fitzmonjohnson | 78 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Fonzwoods | 49 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | justblaze | +5.79 | 91 | 60 |
| #2 | Ian | -0.01 | 61 | 66 |
| #3 | jshipp | -0.19 | 81 | 47 |
| #4 | Cocaina Supremo | -2.35 | 46 | 39 |
| #5 | Simp2Pimp | -2.41 | 58 | 32 |





