








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 250 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 177 matches | ||
| Faceit | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 120 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3266 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,555 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3371 | 18% |
| Smokes | 5428 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5051 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4705 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,159,033 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 157 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Famous NiXyy♕ | 53% | 181 |
| #10 | mk¡Q | 52% | 27 |
| #11 | BaMF<3® | 52% | 209 |
| #12 | ™TheBlackBox™ | 44% | 98 |
| #13 | SirMasonDk | 39% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XantosONLINE #OOM-500 | 355 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #2 | BaMF<3® | 273 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #3 | SirMasonDk | 199 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #4 | Famous NiXyy♕ | 139 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | StreetBoy | 134 | 0.08 | 4 min |





