








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 610 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 387 matches | ||
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 237 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6809 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,027 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5444 | 23% |
| Smokes | 7370 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 7184 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4029 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,737,793 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1827 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeerIsGood | 88% | 41 |
| #2 | StreetBoy | 63% | 71 |
| #3 | Pawii | 55% | 44 |
| #4 | Alex Balex | 53% | 248 |
| #5 | Lil'Jyden | 52% | 209 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Alex Balex | 53% | 248 |
| #5 | Lil'Jyden | 52% | 209 |
| #6 | Famous NiXyy♕ | 50% | 256 |
| #7 | ™TheBlackBox™ | 47% | 157 |
| #8 | SirMasonDk | 37% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alex Balex | 20 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Famous NiXyy♕ | 10 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Lil'Jyden | 10 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | ™TheBlackBox™ | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | SirMasonDk | 4 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alex Balex | 609 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #2 | Lil'Jyden | 327 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #3 | SirMasonDk | 258 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | Pawii | 190 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #5 | Famous NiXyy♕ | 172 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeerIsGood | +2.80 | 75 | 52 |
| #2 | BaMF<3® | +1.72 | 48 | 72 |
| #3 | ™TheBlackBox™ | +0.43 | 67 | 51 |
| #4 | Alex Balex | -0.24 | 34 | 75 |
| #5 | Pawii | -0.86 | 48 | 80 |





