








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 430 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2471 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,824 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 669 | 17% |
| Smokes | 837 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1410 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 908 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,372,704 of utility $260 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 51 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pawii | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | MinX ^__^ | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | Alex Balex | 52% | 29 |
| #4 | BaMF<3® | 47% | 157 |
| #5 | Famous NiXyy♕ | 46% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | BaMF<3® | 47% | 157 |
| #5 | Famous NiXyy♕ | 46% | 104 |
| #6 | StreetBoy | 45% | 33 |
| #7 | Lil'Jyden | 44% | 98 |
| #8 | SirMasonDk | 39% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BaMF<3® | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Lil'Jyden | 7 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Famous NiXyy♕ | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Alex Balex | 3 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | SirMasonDk | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BaMF<3® | 184 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #2 | SirMasonDk | 169 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | Lil'Jyden | 137 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | MinX ^__^ | 95 | 0.33 | 3 min |
| #5 | Famous NiXyy♕ | 78 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MinX ^__^ | +2.40 | 56 | 78 |
| #2 | BaMF<3® | +1.33 | 48 | 73 |
| #3 | ™TheBlackBox™ | +0.91 | 69 | 52 |
| #4 | SirMasonDk | -0.02 | 50 | 68 |
| #5 | Alex Balex | -0.37 | 33 | 76 |





