








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 73 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 37 matches | ||
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1118 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,840 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1192 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1287 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1676 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 685 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $671,354 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ॐLαяViɗo♕ | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | BeerIsGood | 74% | 38 |
| #3 | BaMF<3® | 63% | 71 |
| #4 | zeroxVII | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | Famous NiXyy♕ | 58% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil'Jyden | 141 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | MinX ^__^ | 127 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #3 | Pawii | 117 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | BaMF<3® | 70 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | zeroxVII | 58 | 0.27 | 2 min |





