








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 403 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 152 matches | ||
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4811 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,073 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6552 | 28% |
| Smokes | 6360 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5102 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5059 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,161,053 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 774 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 7yly™ | 56% | 45 |
| #2 | Nils | 55% | 219 |
| #3 | Steffe | 53% | 32 |
| #4 | Eepi | 51% | 203 |
| #5 | HANJESUS | 50% | 356 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Korppi | 48% | 192 |
| #8 | Vetsu | 48% | 160 |
| #9 | Killermasa | 46% | 28 |
| #10 | Pauli Pappa | 44% | 66 |
| #11 | Purkka Marko jr. | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HANJESUS | 32 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Vetsu | 15 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Eepi | 13 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Nils | 12 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Korppi | 7 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HANJESUS | 1287 | 0.17 | 28 min |
| #2 | Eepi | 896 | 0.20 | 22 min |
| #3 | Korppi | 587 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #4 | Vetsu | 585 | 0.18 | 17 min |
| #5 | Nils | 240 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vetsu | +4.51 | 91 | 66 |
| #2 | Purkka Marko jr. | +0.73 | 73 | 77 |
| #3 | N O E L E L E | +0.58 | 60 | 68 |
| #4 | Eepi | +0.11 | 71 | 64 |
| #5 | Killermasa | -0.35 | 71 | 69 |





