








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 293 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 90 matches | ||
| Wingman | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4122 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,252 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2071 | 18% |
| Smokes | 3421 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2472 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3288 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,140,238 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 63 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N O E L E L E | 55% | 219 |
| #2 | Vetsu | 55% | 22 |
| #3 | Eepi | 54% | 82 |
| #4 | HANJESUS | 52% | 185 |
| #5 | 7yly™ | 52% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Eepi | 54% | 82 |
| #4 | HANJESUS | 52% | 185 |
| #5 | 7yly™ | 52% | 27 |
| #6 | Korppi | 46% | 234 |
| #7 | Pauli Pappa | 38% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HANJESUS | 13 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | N O E L E L E | 11 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Korppi | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Pauli Pappa | 6 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Vetsu | 4 | 0.0091 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N O E L E L E | 921 | 0.20 | 27 min |
| #2 | Korppi | 743 | 0.15 | 17 min |
| #3 | HANJESUS | 710 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #4 | Eepi | 401 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #5 | Pauli Pappa | 193 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vetsu | +5.30 | 91 | 72 |
| #2 | N O E L E L E | +1.56 | 67 | 71 |
| #3 | Eepi | +0.30 | 65 | 67 |
| #4 | Nils | -0.22 | 68 | 59 |
| #5 | Korppi | -0.32 | 46 | 67 |





