








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 934 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 250 matches | ||
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Faceit | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6435 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,688 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7675 | 27% |
| Smokes | 7763 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 7049 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 6201 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,918,629 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 80 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SamZan | 57% | 53 |
| #2 | HANJESUS | 49% | 160 |
| #3 | N O E L E L E | 48% | 192 |
| #4 | Eepi | 48% | 77 |
| #5 | Nils | 46% | 234 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | HANJESUS | 49% | 160 |
| #3 | N O E L E L E | 48% | 192 |
| #4 | Eepi | 48% | 77 |
| #5 | Nils | 46% | 234 |
| #6 | Pauli Pappa | 44% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HANJESUS | 14 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | SamZan | 14 | 0.0132 |
| #3 | Nils | 12 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | N O E L E L E | 11 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Pauli Pappa | 11 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N O E L E L E | 757 | 0.19 | 22 min |
| #2 | HANJESUS | 620 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #3 | Pauli Pappa | 372 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | Eepi | 370 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #5 | Nils | 288 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N O E L E L E | +0.83 | 64 | 70 |
| #2 | Eepi | +0.31 | 66 | 67 |
| #3 | Korppi | +0.28 | 53 | 68 |
| #4 | SamZan | +0.19 | 66 | 25 |
| #5 | HANJESUS | -0.35 | 52 | 59 |





