








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 114 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1230 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,889 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1329 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1669 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1297 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1594 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $449,627 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 123 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SamZan | 60% | 20 |
| #2 | Vetsu | 53% | 15 |
| #3 | N O E L E L E | 44% | 66 |
| #4 | Korppi | 44% | 131 |
| #5 | Eepi | 40% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | N O E L E L E | 44% | 66 |
| #4 | Korppi | 44% | 131 |
| #5 | Eepi | 40% | 25 |
| #6 | Nils | 38% | 81 |
| #7 | HANJESUS | 36% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Korppi | 10 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Nils | 9 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | SamZan | 8 | 0.0201 |
| #4 | N O E L E L E | 7 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | HANJESUS | 6 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Korppi | 458 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #2 | N O E L E L E | 236 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #3 | HANJESUS | 165 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | Eepi | 108 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #5 | Nils | 106 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vetsu | +4.64 | 94 | 68 |
| #2 | SamZan | +1.47 | 66 | 24 |
| #3 | N O E L E L E | +1.09 | 67 | 69 |
| #4 | Eepi | +0.16 | 68 | 68 |
| #5 | Korppi | +0.14 | 54 | 69 |





