








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 188 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 81 matches | ||
| Wingman | 66 matches | ||
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3201 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,569 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4334 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2376 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2833 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3026 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $633,066 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 291 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nils | 54% | 82 |
| #2 | N O E L E L E | 51% | 203 |
| #3 | Vetsu | 50% | 107 |
| #4 | HANJESUS | 49% | 144 |
| #5 | Korppi | 48% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N O E L E L E | 24 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | HANJESUS | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Vetsu | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Pauli Pappa | 4 | 0.0082 |
| #5 | Korppi | 3 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N O E L E L E | 758 | 0.17 | 22 min |
| #2 | HANJESUS | 520 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #3 | Vetsu | 396 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #4 | Korppi | 243 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | Nils | 104 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vetsu | +4.24 | 92 | 69 |
| #2 | Eepi | +0.28 | 73 | 63 |
| #3 | N O E L E L E | +0.13 | 58 | 69 |
| #4 | Korppi | -0.35 | 47 | 67 |
| #5 | HANJESUS | -0.74 | 47 | 59 |





