








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 103 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 597 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7555 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,839 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6227 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4002 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 6022 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3588 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,689,242 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 927 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigStepaz | 49% | 182 |
| #2 | champs that dog | 48% | 457 |
| #3 | Rigby | 48% | 475 |
| #4 | Lamp | 47% | 59 |
| #5 | Professional Bill Gates | 47% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Rigby | 48% | 475 |
| #4 | Lamp | 47% | 59 |
| #5 | Professional Bill Gates | 47% | 133 |
| #6 | John Wilkes Booth | 46% | 84 |
| #7 | projarsniper | 45% | 180 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rigby | 24 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | champs that dog | 12 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | projarsniper | 10 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | BigStepaz | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | John Wilkes Booth | 8 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | champs that dog | 712 | 0.07 | 18 min |
| #2 | Rigby | 531 | 0.05 | 15 min |
| #3 | BigStepaz | 447 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #4 | projarsniper | 311 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #5 | Lamp | 129 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marco Dongavitch | +2.96 | 68 | 55 |
| #2 | Professional Bill Gates | +0.01 | 53 | 33 |
| #3 | Rigby | -0.33 | 44 | 49 |
| #4 | Lamp | -0.98 | 44 | 65 |
| #5 | projarsniper | -1.00 | 31 | 54 |





