








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 154 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 807 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6010 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,190 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3154 | 14% |
| Smokes | 6841 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5683 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 7512 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,014,304 of utility $54 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 232 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Man holding cheese stock photo | 55% | 56 |
| #2 | John Wilkes Booth | 50% | 103 |
| #3 | Marco Dongavitch | 48% | 475 |
| #4 | champs that dog | 47% | 516 |
| #5 | Lamp | 47% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Lamp | 47% | 134 |
| #6 | projarsniper | 46% | 274 |
| #7 | Professional Bill Gates | 45% | 218 |
| #8 | BigStepaz | 43% | 136 |
| #9 | Jeffery Jennings | 36% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marco Dongavitch | 28 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | projarsniper | 19 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Man holding cheese stock photo | 18 | 0.0188 |
| #4 | champs that dog | 11 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | John Wilkes Booth | 11 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marco Dongavitch | 1029 | 0.10 | 25 min |
| #2 | champs that dog | 797 | 0.07 | 21 min |
| #3 | projarsniper | 537 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #4 | Lamp | 329 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #5 | BigStepaz | 299 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Man holding cheese stock photo | +4.28 | 96 | 46 |
| #2 | Marco Dongavitch | +2.54 | 67 | 55 |
| #3 | Professional Bill Gates | +0.53 | 56 | 36 |
| #4 | Rigby | -0.13 | 43 | 49 |
| #5 | Lamp | -0.74 | 47 | 64 |





