








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1294 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,380 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 871 | 26% |
| Smokes | 876 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 764 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 869 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $390,645 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Roger Smith Is Smacked | 56% | 18 |
| #2 | Dave Hester | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | Lou Sassle | 50% | 103 |
| #4 | champs that dog | 48% | 56 |
| #5 | Josh | 47% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | champs that dog | 48% | 56 |
| #5 | Josh | 47% | 36 |
| #6 | Jeremy Wade | 46% | 84 |
| #7 | Lou Skunt | 46% | 37 |
| #8 | 8 By 6 | 38% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Roger Smith Is Smacked | 5 | 0.0136 |
| #2 | Lou Sassle | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Jeremy Wade | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | 8 By 6 | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | champs that dog | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeremy Wade | 173 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | champs that dog | 85 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Lou Sassle | 79 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | Josh | 76 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Lou Skunt | 56 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Roger Smith Is Smacked | +5.19 | 95 | 54 |
| #2 | Jeremy Wade | +2.38 | 67 | 48 |
| #3 | Lou Skunt | +0.57 | 27 | 44 |
| #4 | 8 By 6 | +0.12 | 61 | 33 |
| #5 | champs that dog | -0.05 | 39 | 41 |





