








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1501 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 775 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 268 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 158 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 147 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 104 matches | ||
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




320 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14018 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 41,237 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9431 | 23% |
| Smokes | 8983 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 10678 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 12145 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,502,822 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2159 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johannes | 54% | 166 |
| #2 | Virta | 54% | 220 |
| #3 | janoistensankari | 53% | 224 |
| #4 | Karen | 53% | 376 |
| #5 | Ailu | 52% | 522 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | janoistensankari | 53% | 224 |
| #4 | Karen | 53% | 376 |
| #5 | Ailu | 52% | 522 |
| #6 | Pel<tsi | 51% | 572 |
| #7 | ✪dgm<3♛ #kung | 48% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pel<tsi | 95 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | Ailu | 53 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Johannes | 34 | 0.0101 |
| #4 | Karen | 31 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Virta | 31 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pel<tsi | 1034 | 0.09 | 25 min |
| #2 | Ailu | 1002 | 0.09 | 27 min |
| #3 | Karen | 694 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #4 | Johannes | 545 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #5 | Virta | 470 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ailu | +3.28 | 91 | 62 |
| #2 | Karen | +2.58 | 85 | 56 |
| #3 | Pel<tsi | +0.69 | 75 | 43 |
| #4 | Virta | +0.47 | 78 | 64 |
| #5 | janoistensankari | -0.15 | 66 | 43 |





