








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 666 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 292 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 185 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 45 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




80 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6306 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,306 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3455 | 19% |
| Smokes | 5031 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5173 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4647 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,507,611 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 351 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jdi | 63% | 63 |
| #2 | brutus | 63% | 64 |
| #3 | Karen | 59% | 99 |
| #4 | Johannes | 56% | 86 |
| #5 | Pel<tsi | 55% | 247 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pel<tsi | 57 | 0.0112 |
| #2 | washed | 55 | 0.0123 |
| #3 | Ailu | 27 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | Johannes | 20 | 0.0124 |
| #5 | jdi | 17 | 0.0132 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pel<tsi | 455 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #2 | washed | 397 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #3 | Johannes | 281 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #4 | Ailu | 265 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | brutus | 229 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Karen | +4.13 | 88 | 57 |
| #2 | Ailu | +3.43 | 93 | 54 |
| #3 | MolsteGG | +3.33 | 56 | 59 |
| #4 | Pel<tsi | +2.04 | 79 | 40 |
| #5 | Virta | +1.42 | 81 | 66 |





