








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 617 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 243 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 78 matches | ||
| Wingman | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 70 matches | ||
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 90 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




185 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7705 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 38,150 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9411 | 25% |
| Smokes | 7422 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 11202 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 10115 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,873,905 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 765 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eduard Laser | 61% | 69 |
| #2 | jBrix | 50% | 112 |
| #3 | Akira | 48% | 276 |
| #4 | WlanKabel | 46% | 796 |
| #5 | β
ππ ππππ π | 46% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WlanKabel | 200 | 0.0126 |
| #2 | karamell | 40 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Akira | 37 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | jBrix | 18 | 0.0075 |
| #5 | dasschaaff | 9 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WlanKabel | 2038 | 0.13 | 46 min |
| #2 | karamell | 753 | 0.08 | 16 min |
| #3 | Akira | 631 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #4 | β
ππ ππππ π | 383 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #5 | jBrix | 240 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Akira | +5.38 | 83 | 57 |
| #2 | Eduard Laser | +4.19 | 78 | 70 |
| #3 | β
ππ ππππ π | +2.05 | 54 | 66 |
| #4 | WlanKabel | +0.89 | 48 | 61 |
| #5 | jBrix | -0.37 | 59 | 59 |





