








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 779 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 171 matches | ||
| Premier | 152 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 82 matches | ||
| Faceit | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 65 matches | ||
| Wingman | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 24 different maps





Our logs show 105 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




68 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7232 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,070 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5080 | 16% |
| Smokes | 8875 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 7360 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 9755 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,008,629 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 391 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eduard Laser | 60% | 134 |
| #2 | jBrix | 50% | 135 |
| #3 | HaiX47 | 50% | 98 |
| #4 | tyde_eZ | 47% | 91 |
| #5 | β
ππ ππππ π | 47% | 213 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Doyboii | 43% | 75 |
| #11 | FlinkesWiesel | 39% | 161 |
| #12 | βͺ Kago | 37% | 78 |
| #13 | Hate | 37% | 197 |
| #14 | dasschaaff | 35% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WlanKabel | 65 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | Arkadi | 55 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | Akira | 45 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | jBrix | 15 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | β
ππ ππππ π | 14 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WlanKabel | 1311 | 0.13 | 32 min |
| #2 | Arkadi | 1186 | 0.13 | 25 min |
| #3 | Akira | 1056 | 0.10 | 26 min |
| #4 | β
ππ ππππ π | 685 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #5 | FlinkesWiesel | 540 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Akira | +4.82 | 84 | 58 |
| #2 | Eduard Laser | +3.93 | 79 | 70 |
| #3 | β
ππ ππππ π | +0.97 | 54 | 65 |
| #4 | Doyboii | +0.86 | 53 | 51 |
| #5 | HaiX47 | +0.49 | 57 | 61 |





