








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 122 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 170 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 68 matches | ||
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 39 matches | ||
| Wingman | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6290 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 39,643 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10236 | 26% |
| Smokes | 10610 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 9624 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 9173 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,349,793 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 542 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | In_Rage | 57% | 72 |
| #2 | Humpen | 55% | 80 |
| #3 | Eduard Laser | 55% | 357 |
| #4 | HaiX47 | 52% | 149 |
| #5 | WlanKabel | 48% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WlanKabel | 14 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | karamell | 13 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Akira | 13 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | Disliner | 12 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | Arkadi | 11 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eduard Laser | 1170 | 0.16 | 41 min |
| #2 | FlinkesWiesel | 971 | 0.18 | 21 min |
| #3 | Defusion | 365 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #4 | Disliner | 347 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #5 | karamell | 339 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eduard Laser | +4.09 | 78 | 69 |
| #2 | Akira | +3.92 | 83 | 59 |
| #3 | Humpen | +2.42 | 87 | 61 |
| #4 | In_Rage | +2.10 | 89 | 65 |
| #5 | β
ππ ππππ π | +1.31 | 54 | 63 |





