








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 880 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 200 matches | ||
| Wingman | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 96 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




86 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5394 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,291 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7784 | 30% |
| Smokes | 6843 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5219 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 6445 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $750,674 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6313 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mixu –¦– | 57% | 89 |
| #2 | 𖤓 Pavetti 𖤓 | 54% | 65 |
| #3 | Michael Phelps | 53% | 409 |
| #4 | MURSU | 52% | 127 |
| #5 | yoManChigago | 48% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | yoManChigago | 48% | 62 |
| #6 | Fress1 | 42% | 146 |
| #7 | Free Hasbulla–¦– | 42% | 151 |
| #8 | MrAlias | 40% | 172 |
| #9 | Make | 38% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Free Hasbulla–¦– | 21 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | Michael Phelps | 19 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | MURSU | 17 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | Make | 16 | 0.0078 |
| #5 | Fress1 | 13 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Michael Phelps | 1024 | 0.13 | 26 min |
| #2 | MURSU | 463 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #3 | MrAlias | 391 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #4 | mixu –¦– | 373 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #5 | Make | 315 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Michael Phelps | +4.16 | 87 | 61 |
| #2 | 𖤓 Pavetti 𖤓 | +3.60 | 75 | 59 |
| #3 | mixu –¦– | +1.81 | 79 | 75 |
| #4 | THE PEPS1 –¦– | +1.39 | 79 | 66 |
| #5 | MURSU | -0.03 | 71 | 58 |





