








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 452 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 100 matches | ||
| Wingman | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2084 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,336 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2399 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1728 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2798 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2411 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,128,037 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1886 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | No russians | 53% | 19 |
| #2 | 𖤓 Pavetti 𖤓 | 51% | 130 |
| #3 | MURSU | 48% | 25 |
| #4 | Michael Phelps | 47% | 127 |
| #5 | THE PEPS1 –¦– | 42% | 151 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | THE PEPS1 –¦– | 635 | 0.22 | 14 min |
| #2 | 𖤓 Pavetti 𖤓 | 345 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | Michael Phelps | 331 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #4 | MrAlias | 208 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | Make | 119 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𖤓 Pavetti 𖤓 | +6.19 | 84 | 59 |
| #2 | Michael Phelps | +5.33 | 87 | 63 |
| #3 | No russians | +2.21 | 86 | 59 |
| #4 | THE PEPS1 –¦– | +2.18 | 79 | 66 |
| #5 | MURSU | +0.26 | 78 | 57 |





