








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 599 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 493 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 49 matches | ||
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6815 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,131 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7989 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2453 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 8224 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 4465 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,870,618 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 655 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Inerz | 56% | 115 |
| #2 | J_Beach5 | 53% | 113 |
| #3 | Too Much Sauce | 51% | 126 |
| #4 | GoDz Sparks | 50% | 64 |
| #5 | Writtey Dawg Water | 49% | 146 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | R3NEGADE | 44% | 189 |
| #13 | KABOOSE | 42% | 65 |
| #14 | Tha_Gary | 37% | 68 |
| #15 | Big Bungus | 34% | 132 |
| #16 | Naters | 30% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ₣ɄⱫłØ₦₴ | 30 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | R3NEGADE | 18 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Writtey Dawg Water | 18 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | N1CKz1991 | 17 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | tabernackjaques | 15 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ₣ɄⱫłØ₦₴ | 1316 | 0.21 | 32 min |
| #2 | rabb1t | 1237 | 0.19 | 33 min |
| #3 | tabernackjaques | 1132 | 0.16 | 25 min |
| #4 | J_Beach5 | 668 | 0.27 | 18 min |
| #5 | Inerz | 636 | 0.26 | 15 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ace SRT | +2.86 | 74 | 55 |
| #2 | J_Beach5 | +2.49 | 54 | 65 |
| #3 | rabb1t | +2.40 | 68 | 71 |
| #4 | Inerz | +1.51 | 71 | 72 |
| #5 | Writtey Dawg Water | +1.24 | 77 | 28 |





