








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 633 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 406 matches | ||
| Faceit | 181 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9071 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,846 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9731 | 28% |
| Smokes | 9580 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 7259 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 8276 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,404,528 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2084 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | silicone. | 60% | 42 |
| #2 | tabernackjaques | 58% | 60 |
| #3 | UFO | 57% | 51 |
| #4 | Kravox | 56% | 96 |
| #5 | Inerz | 56% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | 丂ㄒ乇乃乃丂 | 48% | 315 |
| #12 | R3NEGADE | 44% | 81 |
| #13 | ₣ɄⱫłØ₦₴ | 44% | 151 |
| #14 | Ace SRT | 43% | 46 |
| #15 | KABOOSE | 43% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 丂ㄒ乇乃乃丂 | 21 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | J_Beach5 | 13 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | ₣ɄⱫłØ₦₴ | 11 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | R3NEGADE | 9 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | Inerz | 7 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J_Beach5 | 1419 | 0.28 | 39 min |
| #2 | Inerz | 700 | 0.26 | 17 min |
| #3 | KABOOSE | 601 | 0.25 | 14 min |
| #4 | ₣ɄⱫłØ₦₴ | 585 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #5 | 丂ㄒ乇乃乃丂 | 534 | 0.08 | 11 min |





