








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2636 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,985 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1513 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1470 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2049 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1953 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $318,222 of utility $41 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Writtey Dawg Water | 45% | 67 |
| #10 | rabb1t | 44% | 81 |
| #11 | 丂ㄒ乇乃乃丂 | 44% | 189 |
| #12 | J_Beach5 | 40% | 20 |
| #13 | Tha_Gary | 30% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 丂ㄒ乇乃乃丂 | 11 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | ₣ɄⱫłØ₦₴ | 11 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | Writtey Dawg Water | 9 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | tabernackjaques | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | N1CKz1991 | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 丂ㄒ乇乃乃丂 | 366 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #2 | ₣ɄⱫłØ₦₴ | 325 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #3 | rabb1t | 308 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #4 | tabernackjaques | 290 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #5 | N1CKz1991 | 157 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ace SRT | +4.07 | 73 | 54 |
| #2 | rabb1t | +3.76 | 67 | 70 |
| #3 | Inerz | +3.25 | 71 | 75 |
| #4 | J_Beach5 | +2.88 | 42 | 73 |
| #5 | tabernackjaques | +2.71 | 74 | 59 |





