








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 533 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 241 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3567 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,020 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2444 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1681 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1890 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2005 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $553,028 of utility $54 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 561 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joe | 58% | 33 |
| #2 | WamblingAxe | 52% | 131 |
| #3 | Rustle | 51% | 47 |
| #4 | Tillimanjaro | 48% | 156 |
| #5 | wenches | 46% | 209 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Tillimanjaro | 48% | 156 |
| #5 | wenches | 46% | 209 |
| #6 | Waddle19352 | 38% | 60 |
| #7 | King Glizzy | 38% | 40 |
| #8 | longbong710 | 34% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wenches | 42 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | Tillimanjaro | 33 | 0.0111 |
| #3 | Joe | 11 | 0.0181 |
| #4 | WamblingAxe | 8 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Rustle | 5 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wenches | 803 | 0.19 | 17 min |
| #2 | Tillimanjaro | 385 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | WamblingAxe | 181 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | Rustle | 160 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | Waddle19352 | 127 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joe | +5.96 | 91 | 50 |
| #2 | King Glizzy | +2.71 | 86 | 39 |
| #3 | WamblingAxe | +2.49 | 58 | 45 |
| #4 | Rustle | +1.88 | 93 | 49 |
| #5 | wenches | +1.24 | 58 | 51 |





