








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 388 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 242 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




62 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4460 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,434 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5876 | 56% |
| Smokes | 1290 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 2844 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 424 | 4% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,211,223 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joe | 50% | 32 |
| #2 | WamblingAxe | 50% | 112 |
| #3 | Rustle | 47% | 60 |
| #4 | SuperChicken | 46% | 209 |
| #5 | Tillimanjaro | 44% | 130 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Waddle19352 | 41% | 75 |
| #7 | piksel | 41% | 37 |
| #8 | longbong710 | 40% | 126 |
| #9 | King Glizzy | 39% | 59 |
| #10 | JonD | 32% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tillimanjaro | 24 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | SuperChicken | 15 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Joe | 9 | 0.0162 |
| #4 | WamblingAxe | 8 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Waddle19352 | 5 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SuperChicken | 334 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #2 | Tillimanjaro | 313 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | Rustle | 194 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | Waddle19352 | 170 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | WamblingAxe | 135 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joe | +3.96 | 87 | 50 |
| #2 | Rustle | +2.62 | 90 | 54 |
| #3 | King Glizzy | +2.16 | 89 | 45 |
| #4 | WamblingAxe | +1.61 | 53 | 47 |
| #5 | wenches | +0.72 | 58 | 54 |





