










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 578 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 718 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7003 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,638 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6576 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3759 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 3985 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 5318 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,663,589 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1438 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | leenut butter | 46% | 103 |
| #10 | ♥ Hoodlump ♥ FREE PALESTINE | 43% | 60 |
| #11 | wenches | 41% | 75 |
| #12 | SuperChicken | 38% | 60 |
| #13 | Tillimanjaro | 35% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | King Glizzy | 14 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | longbong710 | 13 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | spongemon9 | 11 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | leenut butter | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Stripez | 7 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | piksel | 567 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #2 | longbong710 | 486 | 0.05 | 13 min |
| #3 | spongemon9 | 450 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #4 | leenut butter | 379 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #5 | ♥ Hoodlump ♥ FREE PALESTINE | 341 | 0.28 | 9 min |





