








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 138 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1807 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,199 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1303 | 41% |
| Smokes | 513 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 973 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 410 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $365,375 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tillimanjaro | 60% | 25 |
| #2 | Joe | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | longbong710 | 54% | 24 |
| #4 | SuperChicken | 51% | 47 |
| #5 | wenches | 47% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Joe | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | longbong710 | 54% | 24 |
| #4 | SuperChicken | 51% | 47 |
| #5 | wenches | 47% | 60 |
| #6 | WamblingAxe | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wenches | 7 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | SuperChicken | 6 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | Tillimanjaro | 5 | 0.0105 |
| #4 | Joe | 4 | 0.0118 |
| #5 | WamblingAxe | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wenches | 209 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | Joe | 69 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #3 | SuperChicken | 66 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Tillimanjaro | 49 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | WamblingAxe | 27 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joe | +3.16 | 86 | 50 |
| #2 | Rustle | +1.98 | 88 | 55 |
| #3 | wenches | -0.27 | 50 | 55 |
| #4 | WamblingAxe | -0.31 | 50 | 51 |
| #5 | SuperChicken | -0.80 | 59 | 34 |





