








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 55 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2708 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,759 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1600 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1446 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2531 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1182 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $719,036 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | King Glizzy | 56% | 43 |
| #2 | Waddle19352 | 55% | 20 |
| #3 | SuperChicken | 52% | 131 |
| #4 | wenches | 50% | 112 |
| #5 | Tillimanjaro | 50% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | SuperChicken | 52% | 131 |
| #4 | wenches | 50% | 112 |
| #5 | Tillimanjaro | 50% | 133 |
| #6 | longbong710 | 48% | 48 |
| #7 | Rustle | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tillimanjaro | 21 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | wenches | 20 | 0.0092 |
| #3 | SuperChicken | 10 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Rustle | 3 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | Waddle19352 | 2 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wenches | 416 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #2 | Tillimanjaro | 293 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | SuperChicken | 154 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | Rustle | 98 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | King Glizzy | 95 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | King Glizzy | +3.04 | 85 | 50 |
| #2 | WamblingAxe | +2.02 | 57 | 48 |
| #3 | Rustle | +1.85 | 91 | 50 |
| #4 | wenches | +1.74 | 59 | 50 |
| #5 | Waddle19352 | -0.22 | 48 | 41 |





