








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 346 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 70 matches | ||
| Premier | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3513 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,655 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1868 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2843 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1363 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2581 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,681,832 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 489 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ax3 | 68% | 62 |
| #2 | Electric Vehicle | 52% | 88 |
| #3 | nutmeg | 51% | 156 |
| #4 | Impalla | 48% | 33 |
| #5 | flop | 45% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Electric Vehicle | 52% | 88 |
| #3 | nutmeg | 51% | 156 |
| #4 | Impalla | 48% | 33 |
| #5 | flop | 45% | 100 |
| #6 | she left :D | 42% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nutmeg | 66 | 0.0226 |
| #2 | she left :D | 23 | 0.0269 |
| #3 | flop | 10 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | Electric Vehicle | 8 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | ax3 | 5 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nutmeg | 387 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #2 | ax3 | 233 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | flop | 174 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | Impalla | 123 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | Electric Vehicle | 36 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ax3 | +5.14 | 76 | 67 |
| #2 | flop | +2.31 | 59 | 62 |
| #3 | nutmeg | +1.20 | 61 | 49 |
| #4 | Stressmelo | +1.01 | 79 | 41 |
| #5 | Impalla | +0.17 | 73 | 56 |





