








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1005 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 130 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 48 matches | ||
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4753 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,106 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5458 | 25% |
| Smokes | 7506 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 3917 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 5225 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $827,008 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 955 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stressmelo | 68% | 62 |
| #2 | nutmeg | 64% | 77 |
| #3 | Electric Vehicle | 55% | 156 |
| #4 | pete | 55% | 31 |
| #5 | Yi Long Ma | 49% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Yi Long Ma | 49% | 65 |
| #6 | NoHyper | 49% | 185 |
| #7 | TeaaJay | 45% | 31 |
| #8 | ✪ Dale | 44% | 50 |
| #9 | Corrah12 | 42% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoHyper | 22 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | nutmeg | 19 | 0.0129 |
| #3 | Stressmelo | 7 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | Electric Vehicle | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | ✪ Dale | 4 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoHyper | 341 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #2 | Yi Long Ma | 181 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | nutmeg | 150 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | Corrah12 | 148 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | Stressmelo | 71 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ax3 | +3.07 | 75 | 62 |
| #2 | NoHyper | +1.11 | 80 | 61 |
| #3 | nutmeg | -0.27 | 59 | 54 |
| #4 | Stressmelo | -0.92 | 76 | 39 |
| #5 | Corrah12 | -1.04 | 60 | 64 |





