








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 231 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3079 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,853 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3614 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3288 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2268 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2683 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $492,550 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Electric Vehicle | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | nutmeg | 54% | 46 |
| #3 | flop | 53% | 32 |
| #4 | she left :D | 50% | 16 |
| #5 | Stressmelo | 48% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Electric Vehicle | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | nutmeg | 54% | 46 |
| #3 | flop | 53% | 32 |
| #4 | she left :D | 50% | 16 |
| #5 | Stressmelo | 48% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nutmeg | 14 | 0.0148 |
| #2 | she left :D | 4 | 0.0127 |
| #3 | Stressmelo | 3 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | flop | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Electric Vehicle | 2 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nutmeg | 200 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #2 | flop | 67 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | Stressmelo | 37 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | she left :D | 12 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | Electric Vehicle | 10 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flop | +3.10 | 70 | 64 |
| #2 | nutmeg | +1.68 | 56 | 62 |
| #3 | Impalla | +0.71 | 77 | 62 |
| #4 | Stressmelo | -0.24 | 79 | 30 |
| #5 | Electric Vehicle | -0.65 | 35 | 34 |





