








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 140 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3109 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,651 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 977 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1631 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1524 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2519 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,352,911 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 105 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Infin8ty | 57% | 92 |
| #2 | ax3 | 55% | 156 |
| #3 | Mythical_FnS_ | 54% | 35 |
| #4 | Stressmelo | 52% | 88 |
| #5 | nutmeg | 47% | 163 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Mythical_FnS_ | 54% | 35 |
| #4 | Stressmelo | 52% | 88 |
| #5 | nutmeg | 47% | 163 |
| #6 | flop | 44% | 39 |
| #7 | NoHyper | 36% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nutmeg | 75 | 0.0256 |
| #2 | ax3 | 36 | 0.0117 |
| #3 | Stressmelo | 21 | 0.0127 |
| #4 | Infin8ty | 18 | 0.0102 |
| #5 | Mythical_FnS_ | 15 | 0.0217 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ax3 | 545 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #2 | nutmeg | 377 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #3 | Infin8ty | 307 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #4 | NoHyper | 111 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Stressmelo | 101 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ax3 | +5.01 | 77 | 64 |
| #2 | flop | +3.01 | 52 | 57 |
| #3 | Infin8ty | +2.98 | 78 | 41 |
| #4 | NoHyper | +2.12 | 82 | 64 |
| #5 | Mythical_FnS_ | +1.59 | 75 | 39 |





