








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 763 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 479 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 222 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




171 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13410 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 39,274 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12403 | 32% |
| Smokes | 6829 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 10416 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 9626 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,383,414 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2004 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ubby | 69% | 97 |
| #2 | Rhystart | 62% | 200 |
| #3 | glaZ | 62% | 73 |
| #4 | Monkey Mæn | 57% | 86 |
| #5 | Brando™ | 56% | 167 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | appLEjk | 49% | 82 |
| #12 | athena ᵔᴥᵔ | 48% | 80 |
| #13 | Yiannos | 47% | 243 |
| #14 | Kanine Beowulf | 47% | 70 |
| #15 | Lt. Dee Snuts | 44% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | amr | 35 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | Ubby | 30 | 0.0159 |
| #3 | Brando™ | 26 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | Monkey Mæn | 25 | 0.0152 |
| #5 | Kanine Beowulf | 19 | 0.0132 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | amr | 1051 | 0.16 | 24 min |
| #2 | Brando™ | 752 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #3 | Rhystart | 744 | 0.18 | 20 min |
| #4 | Yiannos | 616 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #5 | Ubby | 579 | 0.31 | 17 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ubby | +4.05 | 79 | 74 |
| #2 | Rhystart | +3.46 | 74 | 65 |
| #3 | glaZ | +2.94 | 85 | 63 |
| #4 | Maximus Decimus Meridius | +2.07 | 75 | 56 |
| #5 | amr | +0.45 | 85 | 67 |





