








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 533 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 480 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5021 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,558 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2590 | 19% |
| Smokes | 4949 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 3422 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2597 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,634,411 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 488 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maximus Decimus Meridius | 50% | 144 |
| #2 | Yiannos | 48% | 353 |
| #3 | amr | 47% | 398 |
| #4 | Fred Jones | 46% | 162 |
| #5 | moose | 45% | 262 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Yiannos | 48% | 353 |
| #3 | amr | 47% | 398 |
| #4 | Fred Jones | 46% | 162 |
| #5 | moose | 45% | 262 |
| #6 | appLEjk | 42% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | amr | 41 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Yiannos | 20 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Maximus Decimus Meridius | 13 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | moose | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Fred Jones | 4 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | amr | 1426 | 0.17 | 31 min |
| #2 | Yiannos | 1159 | 0.15 | 31 min |
| #3 | Maximus Decimus Meridius | 623 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #4 | moose | 207 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #5 | appLEjk | 71 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SeedlessGrape | +0.85 | 76 | 54 |
| #2 | Maximus Decimus Meridius | +0.68 | 72 | 58 |
| #3 | amr | +0.40 | 84 | 68 |
| #4 | Yiannos | -0.13 | 56 | 73 |
| #5 | Fred Jones | -0.92 | 67 | 40 |





