








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2083 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 639 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8538 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 41,494 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 14160 | 34% |
| Smokes | 12342 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 6841 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 8151 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,217,164 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1084 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bigilu | 51% | 72 |
| #2 | appLEjk | 50% | 172 |
| #3 | amr | 50% | 556 |
| #4 | SeedlessGrape | 48% | 353 |
| #5 | Maximus Decimus Meridius | 47% | 243 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | amr | 50% | 556 |
| #4 | SeedlessGrape | 48% | 353 |
| #5 | Maximus Decimus Meridius | 47% | 243 |
| #6 | moose | 47% | 229 |
| #7 | Fred Jones | 46% | 137 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | amr | 52 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Maximus Decimus Meridius | 31 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | SeedlessGrape | 30 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | moose | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | appLEjk | 7 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | amr | 2124 | 0.18 | 48 min |
| #2 | Maximus Decimus Meridius | 1004 | 0.19 | 24 min |
| #3 | SeedlessGrape | 451 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #4 | Bigilu | 261 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #5 | moose | 177 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bigilu | +1.33 | 82 | 64 |
| #2 | Yiannos | +0.77 | 58 | 74 |
| #3 | Maximus Decimus Meridius | +0.68 | 69 | 58 |
| #4 | amr | +0.63 | 84 | 67 |
| #5 | SeedlessGrape | +0.27 | 75 | 53 |





