








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1066 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 168 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 96 matches | ||
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 88 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 79 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




101 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6478 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,613 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9993 | 34% |
| Smokes | 8006 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4492 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 7122 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $705,299 of utility $58 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 601 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CarlJustANormalGuy | 53% | 252 |
| #2 | PotatoePeeker TTV | 52% | 176 |
| #3 | Methed Moms | 50% | 152 |
| #4 | Big Sketty Steppa | 49% | 538 |
| #5 | I am now Drunk, Driver of Cars | 48% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Methed Moms | 50% | 152 |
| #4 | Big Sketty Steppa | 49% | 538 |
| #5 | I am now Drunk, Driver of Cars | 48% | 90 |
| #6 | Stan | 48% | 88 |
| #7 | DGNR8 | 39% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Sketty Steppa | 73 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | PotatoePeeker TTV | 27 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | I am now Drunk, Driver of Cars | 19 | 0.0107 |
| #4 | Methed Moms | 17 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | CarlJustANormalGuy | 16 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Methed Moms | 1503 | 0.49 | 41 min |
| #2 | Big Sketty Steppa | 1277 | 0.12 | 34 min |
| #3 | PotatoePeeker TTV | 461 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #4 | I am now Drunk, Driver of Cars | 369 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #5 | DGNR8 | 254 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PotatoePeeker TTV | +3.20 | 76 | 62 |
| #2 | givER | +1.98 | 72 | 71 |
| #3 | CarlJustANormalGuy | +0.61 | 48 | 44 |
| #4 | Big Sketty Steppa | -0.48 | 62 | 55 |
| #5 | I am now Drunk, Driver of Cars | -0.52 | 72 | 56 |





