








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 457 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 126 matches | ||
| Premier | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4110 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,734 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1467 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3060 | 45% |
| HE Grenades | 1118 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1089 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,587,075 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 540 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Banjo | 54% | 26 |
| #2 | PotatoePeeker TTV | 53% | 70 |
| #3 | givER | 53% | 252 |
| #4 | Methed Moms | 53% | 112 |
| #5 | Big Sketty Steppa | 52% | 396 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Methed Moms | 53% | 112 |
| #5 | Big Sketty Steppa | 52% | 396 |
| #6 | I am now Drunk, Driver of Cars | 50% | 38 |
| #7 | DGNR8 | 47% | 38 |
| #8 | Stan | 42% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Sketty Steppa | 51 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | givER | 44 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | Methed Moms | 13 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | PotatoePeeker TTV | 11 | 0.0079 |
| #5 | Stan | 7 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | givER | 1085 | 0.22 | 27 min |
| #2 | Methed Moms | 1015 | 0.46 | 29 min |
| #3 | Big Sketty Steppa | 859 | 0.11 | 23 min |
| #4 | PotatoePeeker TTV | 172 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | I am now Drunk, Driver of Cars | 167 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PotatoePeeker TTV | +3.08 | 79 | 57 |
| #2 | givER | +2.00 | 73 | 71 |
| #3 | CarlJustANormalGuy | +1.07 | 50 | 47 |
| #4 | I am now Drunk, Driver of Cars | -0.59 | 81 | 53 |
| #5 | Big Sketty Steppa | -0.83 | 60 | 53 |





