








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 991 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 305 matches | ||
| Premier | 160 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 127 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 112 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




102 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7525 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,077 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6110 | 36% |
| Smokes | 4471 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3535 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2961 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,597,005 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 752 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CarlJustANormalGuy | 52% | 396 |
| #2 | PotatoePeeker TTV | 51% | 202 |
| #3 | givER | 49% | 538 |
| #4 | I am now Drunk, Driver of Cars | 46% | 78 |
| #5 | Methed Moms | 46% | 218 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | givER | 49% | 538 |
| #4 | I am now Drunk, Driver of Cars | 46% | 78 |
| #5 | Methed Moms | 46% | 218 |
| #6 | Stan | 44% | 113 |
| #7 | DGNR8 | 36% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | givER | 94 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | PotatoePeeker TTV | 28 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | CarlJustANormalGuy | 21 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Methed Moms | 18 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | DGNR8 | 15 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | givER | 2322 | 0.22 | 58 min |
| #2 | Methed Moms | 2104 | 0.48 | 57 min |
| #3 | PotatoePeeker TTV | 495 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #4 | CarlJustANormalGuy | 391 | 0.05 | 11 min |
| #5 | DGNR8 | 330 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PotatoePeeker TTV | +2.91 | 76 | 60 |
| #2 | givER | +2.16 | 72 | 72 |
| #3 | CarlJustANormalGuy | +0.94 | 50 | 47 |
| #4 | I am now Drunk, Driver of Cars | -0.44 | 74 | 55 |
| #5 | Big Sketty Steppa | -0.48 | 62 | 54 |





