








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 437 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 136 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2959 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,270 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1888 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2202 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2675 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2505 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $892,525 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 96 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aldgia | 68% | 62 |
| #2 | bear_tuck | 55% | 20 |
| #3 | Prez Yeti | 51% | 59 |
| #4 | TRB | ZZXQ | 48% | 136 |
| #5 | TrueEcho | 48% | 61 |





