








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 37 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 152 matches | ||
| Premier | 131 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4785 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,791 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8815 | 37% |
| Smokes | 8238 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 2106 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 4632 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,843,052 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 262 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TrueEcho | 15 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Prez Yeti | 13 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | TRB | ZZXQ | 9 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Aldgia | 8 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | bear_tuck | 4 | 0.0021 |





