








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 210 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3044 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,539 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3145 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4444 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3198 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3752 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,456,495 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 165 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prez Yeti | 12 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Bernie Senders | 10 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Aldgia | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | TRB | ZZXQ | 6 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | STR_NO_MERCY | 6 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bernie Senders | 952 | 0.18 | 23 min |
| #2 | Aldgia | 427 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #3 | TRB | ZZXQ | 414 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #4 | Prez Yeti | 267 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | TTV/JuanTap_ | 179 | 0.13 | 4 min |





