








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1392 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 138 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 53 matches | ||
| Wingman | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 93 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5985 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,003 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6028 | 22% |
| Smokes | 8029 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 8005 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5941 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,102,278 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 208 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prez Yeti | 15 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Aldgia | 13 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Bernie Senders | 9 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | STR_NO_MERCY | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | TrueEcho | 7 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bernie Senders | 761 | 0.16 | 19 min |
| #2 | Aldgia | 689 | 0.19 | 16 min |
| #3 | Prez Yeti | 497 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #4 | TrueEcho | 486 | 0.07 | 12 min |
| #5 | TTV/JuanTap_ | 428 | 0.13 | 11 min |





