








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 951 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 53 matches | ||
| Wingman | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5358 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,315 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5558 | 22% |
| Smokes | 7128 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 7193 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 5436 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,801,957 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 176 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prez Yeti | 14 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Aldgia | 13 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Bernie Senders | 9 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | TrueEcho | 7 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | STR_NO_MERCY | 6 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bernie Senders | 761 | 0.16 | 19 min |
| #2 | Aldgia | 689 | 0.19 | 16 min |
| #3 | TrueEcho | 463 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #4 | Prez Yeti | 437 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #5 | TTV/JuanTap_ | 415 | 0.13 | 11 min |





