








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 455 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 293 matches | ||
| Faceit | 76 matches | ||
| Wingman | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4552 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,942 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3165 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3685 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3113 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3979 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,313,938 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 603 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Void Swan | 65% | 37 |
| #2 | DonkeyDork | 59% | 34 |
| #3 | OppA | 56% | 45 |
| #4 | Ceai | 55% | 93 |
| #5 | fHizZ^ | 51% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ROWDY.CS | 49% | 41 |
| #8 | NIEZRECKAGE | 48% | 209 |
| #9 | ىćą¹ « Jrsooner | 46% | 157 |
| #10 | nik | 43% | 139 |
| #11 | cat | 41% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fHizZ^ | 19 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | OppA | 19 | 0.0191 |
| #3 | nik | 15 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | Ceai | 10 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | NIEZRECKAGE | 8 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ىćą¹ « Jrsooner | 677 | 0.19 | 19 min |
| #2 | Ceai | 308 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | NIEZRECKAGE | 236 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #4 | fHizZ^ | 202 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | nik | 190 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Void Swan | +1.87 | 86 | 65 |
| #2 | Griffin0g v.2 | +1.74 | 71 | 51 |
| #3 | Soma | +1.10 | 71 | 57 |
| #4 | OppA | +0.75 | 79 | 38 |
| #5 | DonkeyDork | +0.72 | 68 | 65 |





