








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 129 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 158 matches | ||
| Faceit | 67 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2859 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,307 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1237 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1560 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2035 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1475 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,390,239 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 66 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fHizZ^ | 51% | 114 |
| #2 | ىćą¹ « Jrsooner | 49% | 193 |
| #3 | Griffin0g v.2 | 48% | 209 |
| #4 | Ceai | 47% | 49 |
| #5 | nik | 43% | 157 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Griffin0g v.2 | 48% | 209 |
| #4 | Ceai | 47% | 49 |
| #5 | nik | 43% | 157 |
| #6 | cat | 41% | 54 |
| #7 | Soma | 39% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fHizZ^ | 22 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | nik | 16 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Griffin0g v.2 | 13 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Soma | 8 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | ىćą¹ « Jrsooner | 3 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ىćą¹ « Jrsooner | 856 | 0.20 | 24 min |
| #2 | Griffin0g v.2 | 418 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #3 | cat | 268 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #4 | fHizZ^ | 253 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #5 | nik | 193 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Griffin0g v.2 | +2.07 | 72 | 53 |
| #2 | Soma | +1.29 | 77 | 56 |
| #3 | fHizZ^ | +0.77 | 54 | 66 |
| #4 | Ceai | +0.70 | 81 | 58 |
| #5 | NIEZRECKAGE | -0.05 | 55 | 52 |





