








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 99 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Faceit | 112 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2619 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,392 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1352 | 12% |
| Smokes | 3808 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3569 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2663 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $494,079 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 460 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | How? | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | BibleClinger | 48% | 21 |
| #3 | ىćą¹ « Jrsooner | 47% | 148 |
| #4 | NIEZRECKAGE | 43% | 157 |
| #5 | Griffin0g v.2 | 43% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | NIEZRECKAGE | 43% | 157 |
| #5 | Griffin0g v.2 | 43% | 139 |
| #6 | Soma | 42% | 33 |
| #7 | cat | 42% | 62 |
| #8 | fHizZ^ | 42% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fHizZ^ | 16 | 0.0109 |
| #2 | NIEZRECKAGE | 10 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Griffin0g v.2 | 9 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Soma | 6 | 0.0076 |
| #5 | ىćą¹ « Jrsooner | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ىćą¹ « Jrsooner | 657 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #2 | cat | 301 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #3 | Griffin0g v.2 | 294 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | NIEZRECKAGE | 186 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #5 | fHizZ^ | 153 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Griffin0g v.2 | +1.84 | 73 | 52 |
| #2 | Soma | +1.67 | 78 | 53 |
| #3 | How? | +1.05 | 73 | 55 |
| #4 | fHizZ^ | +0.79 | 55 | 64 |
| #5 | NIEZRECKAGE | +0.31 | 56 | 53 |





