








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 285 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 147 matches | ||
| Faceit | 63 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1665 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,887 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3875 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4660 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1257 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 3095 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $611,020 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 232 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ceai | 56% | 25 |
| #2 | fHizZ^ | 56% | 84 |
| #3 | BibleClinger | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | NIEZRECKAGE | 49% | 193 |
| #5 | nik | 47% | 148 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Griffin0g v.2 | 46% | 157 |
| #7 | Dr. Jal | 45% | 38 |
| #8 | cat | 42% | 50 |
| #9 | Soma | 37% | 41 |
| #10 | scary- | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nik | 15 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | fHizZ^ | 13 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | Griffin0g v.2 | 10 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | NIEZRECKAGE | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Soma | 7 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Griffin0g v.2 | 327 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #2 | cat | 257 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #3 | NIEZRECKAGE | 213 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #4 | fHizZ^ | 175 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | nik | 158 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Griffin0g v.2 | +2.22 | 72 | 53 |
| #2 | Soma | +1.14 | 79 | 54 |
| #3 | fHizZ^ | +0.88 | 54 | 66 |
| #4 | Ceai | +0.78 | 79 | 57 |
| #5 | NIEZRECKAGE | -0.10 | 54 | 55 |





