








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 463 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 122 matches | ||
| Faceit | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3434 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,488 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2332 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2936 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2021 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3199 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,324,663 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 452 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ىćą¹ « Jrsooner | 56% | 25 |
| #2 | Griffin0g v.2 | 55% | 93 |
| #3 | fHizZ^ | 52% | 23 |
| #4 | Hatty | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | DonkeyDork | 48% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Exoskeletal | 44% | 16 |
| #9 | Bread Man (Zimsss) | 44% | 16 |
| #10 | ChelsBells | 43% | 21 |
| #11 | Soma | 43% | 105 |
| #12 | OppA | 43% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Soma | 12 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | OppA | 12 | 0.0117 |
| #3 | Griffin0g v.2 | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | fHizZ^ | 5 | 0.0082 |
| #5 | ROWDY.CS | 4 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Griffin0g v.2 | 223 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | DonkeyDork | 162 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | Soma | 133 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | ىćą¹ « Jrsooner | 114 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | OppA | 74 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bread Man (Zimsss) | +1.79 | 88 | 55 |
| #2 | OppA | +0.91 | 77 | 38 |
| #3 | Griffin0g v.2 | +0.55 | 67 | 54 |
| #4 | Soma | +0.44 | 67 | 57 |
| #5 | Ceai | +0.35 | 79 | 56 |





