








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 105 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 193 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1925 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,173 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2217 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2980 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4005 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2971 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $648,314 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HeInIkel | 72% | 29 |
| #2 | DramaLama | 60% | 25 |
| #3 | TurboDiesel | 56% | 48 |
| #4 | Mofasa | 56% | 18 |
| #5 | HE-Man | 55% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HasNoNick | 11 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Milabeck | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | TurboDiesel | 4 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | HeInIkel | 4 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | h3xa9on | 3 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HasNoNick | 416 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | Milabeck | 229 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #3 | Pledde | 148 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #4 | TurboDiesel | 95 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Sondrix | 77 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HeInIkel | +6.25 | 75 | 48 |
| #2 | sttr4ke 19yo | +5.19 | 87 | 54 |
| #3 | Pledde | +3.55 | 88 | 36 |
| #4 | h3xa9on | +3.40 | 64 | 64 |
| #5 | NORBROツ | +2.70 | 82 | 61 |





